101 online gambling jokes... perhaps not quite

Jokes

Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool - nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.

"My husband's going to a casino in central Asia."

"Tibet?"

"Of course, why else would he go!"

A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. Upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table. Curious, he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog.

Then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog. Then the dog acts in turn with all the other players, calling, raising, discarding, everything the other human players were doing.

However none of the other players seemed to pay any mind to the fact that they were playing with a dog, they just treated him like any other player. Finally the man could not longer hold his tongue so between hands he quietly said to one of the players, "I can't believe that dog is playing poker, he must be the smartest dog in the world!"

The player smiled and said, "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."

A man tells his friend: ''I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife!''
The friend says: ''Great trade!''

THE BREAST STROKE

A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke-swimming race across the English Channel.
The brunette came in first; the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished.
When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said: ''I don't want to be a telltale or anything, but the other two used their arms.''

A man walks into a butcher's shop and inquires of the butcher: "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher says "Yes", so the man said: "I bet you £50 that you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging on the hooks up there." The butcher says "I'm not betting on that." "But I thought you were a gambling man" the man retorts. "Yes I am" says the butcher "but the steaks are too high."

What’ll you have, Bertie?”
” Well, I’m in a gambling mood, Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.”
” Looks like beer, Bert.”
” Call me Mister Lucky.”